"What did I do wrong in my marriage to get to this point?" American expert: Shame and frustration make divorced people feel that they are not worthy of love?"

Most people who divorce are very helpless, and many people don’t know who to say it. The shell is covered in a dense sense of failure, and it feels that they are not good and not worthy of being loved, so they always ask such questions...

The United States has a somewhat hailed "distance counselor", specializing in helping men and women who want to divorce but are unstoppable, or decide to divorce but face many challenges. A divorce instructor Andra Davidson wrote an article to share that most people had problems during his first contact with him during his work experience. This shows the most tangible and painful reasons for the person who wants to divorce.

Common divorce problems are such as doubting one's direct midlife crisis, whether divorce is the right decision, whether their children will instruct them, and how to start the divorce process. But it is surprising that the first question the client will ask is not any of the above.

The most common divorce question

What is the most common divorce question? The answer is revealed:

What did I do wrong in my marriage before I fell to this point?

What did I do wrong in my marriage before I fell to this point?

Andra mentioned that a relationship has a problem and it is difficult to blame all the responsibility on one party. This is a complicated problem. This problem also contains a lot of emotions. In addition to being really confused, it is also unwilling to give up. It is related to self-awareness, and it also plays a key role in whether the relationship between growth and future is successful.

The most noteworthy feeling of shyness

The most notable thing about this problem is that it brings a person's sense of shyness and frustration. In fact, this is a normal reaction to divorced or separated people. After all, we will enter marriage. At the beginning, we all hope to be together with the other party forever. This kind of ideal has been destroyed. In addition, when we divorce, we have to face many other life challenges, which makes people feel weak.

These emotions and personal privacy may make it difficult for people to discuss with others. Some people want to ask friends for complaints when they are in great pain, but they don’t have the courage to tell them what happened, because it seems to be admitting how failed, how powerless they are, and not worthy of being loved. You often cannot smile and attend parties, which causes many people who divorce to change their daily lives and prefer to stay at home to avoid being seen as "grace" seems to represent another kind of failure.

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Even if you muster up your courage and tell me the truth, if your friend keeps losing your ex at this time, you will feel strange because it means you are blind and you will only choose to be with him at the beginning. Maybe I keep encouraging you, making it harder for you to resist.

At this time of deep frustration, you should focus on your goals and future plans to avoid being stuck in your own feelings of failure. For people with children, they often get along with their children, and watching their children grow up will also relieve their frustrations. Of course, you must need at least one honest and trustworthy friend to encourage you to support you!

When you encounter divorce disputes, the difficult situation will last for a long time and will be exhausted both physically and mentally. It is recommended that you find professional lawyers and psychologists to help, and never fight alone. When you are exhausted, it is easy to make a decision that will regret it.