Self-reminder after middle age! Cai Fengping: Why do women become more and more alive and men are like potted plants?

Editor: A man is old, only one mouth is left? Writer Cai Fengping observed that in middle age, there are big differences in life conditions between women and men. Women are more loyal to themselves and live a life like flowers. As men's focus becomes less and less, their vision is gradually narrowing. In the end, it turned into a boring uncle who talked about the big principles all day long and repeated himself. Are there any different possibilities for a big man?

talked to the writer Cai Fengping about the fun of life after middle age. He said that no matter how busy he is in work, he would find a free store every day to run on the mountain near his home. There are few people on the mountainside, so it is especially suitable for relaxing and independent places. Especially in the early morning, the wind blows the birds, and occasionally the old horns fly over the sky. Running is not just a movement, but also an important ritual for him to relieve stress.

Cai Fengping, who was 62 years old, was originally a Shenzhen media person who started out with political commentary. Later, she successfully transformed into a radio host and writer. In 2002, he married former anchor Lin Shuqing, who is 17 years apart, and the two have a daughter. After 18 years of marriage, I still often "love" in the media. The two complacent things in love and business make people curious and ask him, what else is there to be troubles in life that need to be relieved? "It's so sad when people reach middle age!" he laughed.

Mid-aged men and women are very different. Women are blooming like flowers, and men think their lives are like potted plants.

Life enters the second half. Cai Fengping observes that men and women have completely different life conditions at the same age.

He graduated from the Department of Politics of National Taiwan University and worked in the newspaper office for many years. In the early days, Taiwan's political and media fields were all in decline, and the social network of employees was also centered on men. On the contrary, the wife, who was born in 1964, had a group of sisters who regularly ate, drank, and talked about their worries. The difference in gender can be more sensible.

Where are middle-aged women and middle-aged men? Cai Fengping observed a group of his wife's friends, "The woman has passed by 40 years old and her whole person is alive." Just like the blooming flowers, she knows that the flowering period is limited, and she knows how to grasp life better. Cherish those who love deeply, and those who don’t love each other will not be dragged. "I often warn middle-aged men to be careful. My wife may almost say goodbye to you."

As for the "uncles" beside him, on the contrary, most of them are very loyal. Anyway, "What this doesn't work is that it doesn't work, and that's probably what life is like." Cai Fengping analyzed. Once he chatted with a friend, and his friend said with emotion that a man passed by 50 years old is like a wild wolf turning into a warm domestic dog. He turned around, "It's a bonsai! If it doesn't hurt, it will wither silently. If it doesn't look good, it will be moved outdoors."

"Taiwanese men are very obedient. But our obedient is not obedient." Cai Fengping said bluntly. When a vigorous woman is with a man who is exhausted, his body and mind are naturally farther and farther away. "Many wives have good work and can't get fun with their husbands, so they have to serve the other party. Why do they have to?"

Do more things about the people's major issues that make their families feel emotional

Men of big age dare not exceed the rules, so why are they still unpopular? Cai Fengping observed that the mature men around her all have a characteristic that is easy to be "light". I usually talk about national affairs and don’t care about everything when I get home. You can care about everything in the universe, but you can't remember what your wife said.

"Don't think that potted plants are not bad. One day you will be thrown down from the 6th floor." Cai Fengping said half jokingly and half seriously. If you want to find a way out in marriage, your body and mind are indispensable. When you make a contribution to your family, you start with small things such as buying vegetables, throwing out garbage, and going to supermarkets to replenish goods. More importantly, be honest and do not be perfunctory.

He said that when washing his hands, he found that only a thin piece of soap was left, so he could check how much toothpaste, cotton swab and other daily necessities were left at home. Don’t forget to go to the supermarket to restock. When buying vegetables at the vegetable market, in addition to the ingredients on the list, you should also consider the dietary needs of everyone in the family: the wife loves to eat beans, and the adolescent daughter needs to eat meat ……. These things are boring to hear, but if no one takes it easy, the quality of family life will be unscrupulous. The emotional movement that consumes the mind should not be just a woman's responsibility.

The investment in the spiritual level is always good for appreciating your partner. Cai Fengping smiled and said that the most important life philosophy after middle age is to serve your wife well. Flowers are given to you every year on birthdays and anniversary, and even quarrels are no exception. When I saw a beautiful girl on the road, I must hold my wife's hand tightly and said, "It's not bad, but it's a little worse!"

Is it necessary for an old couple to do these numb things? "Of course, otherwise you won't know how you died in the middle of the night." My wife was happy, the family was harmonious, and the world was peaceful!

What wife and daughter want is the same rather than the big reason

The daughter is another important woman in Cai Fengping's life. He had a son in middle age and had a daughter since he was a child. But the sweet period of father and daughter is the next sentence after the daughter enters puberty. Fight with dad? don't want. Dad, hug one? Don't even think about it. There is something even more desirable, "She only talks to her mother when she has something to do." Cai Fengping said with a wry smile.

The children are growing up, how should they get close to them? One birthday, my daughter gave him a card and wrote on her head: "Dad, I know you love me very much, and I love you too. Thank you for helping me prepare breakfast every day to meet every need of my needs. But please don't talk about the big truth, I've grown up."

Talking too much and hearing too little is another common problem for dads. For example, when a daughter complained to him about school, he began to analyze the teacher's intention. But the problem is that daughters don’t need their father’s principles. "She only thought the teacher was very troublesome, and you didn't have to tell her what the teacher thought." When his wife complained to him about her job setbacks, she also had similar reactions.. As long as he enters the "Teacher Cai" mode, his wife and daughter will not be able to bear it.

He reflected that his daughter and mother were even more familiar, and it was not just a gender factor. Dads who love to talk about reason must learn to listen carefully. For example, he often cannot remember the name of his friend as his daughter calls him. Who is Megan? Who is Amy? But the wife would open her daughter's IG account and look at the photos to recognize her. No matter how much my father hears, he can't remember it. After a long time, his daughter certainly needs to open her mouth.

"My wife asks me not to teach my daughter. You must be empathetic when listening to her words and don't make a decision immediately." Cai Fengping believes that men born in grades 4 or 5 are relatively alienated from their parents during their growth. They care more about their children because of their concerns. However, the family relationship will continue to change as the child grows older. Parents need to be adjusted and flexible, so that love can last for a long time.

A few days ago, he and his daughter fought coldly due to a serious injury, and the two of them didn't say anything for several days. But this time, my father no longer talks about the big truth. One day on the way to school in heaven, he took the initiative to tell his daughter in kindness that he was not angry with her. "I am so excited that I will become such a father, so that you can't tell me if you have anything to do." After that, my daughter also changed. She began to chat with her father with a willingness to discuss the curl of her hair and the Korean male star she liked recently. Although it is all a matter of chaos, the progress of family relationships is enough to make my father feel relieved.

Mid-aged men should not only talk about the possibility of political life.

Young talented people in their youth, why do they become mature men who love to teach, repetitively, and have no vitality when they are old? Cai Fengping observed that the problem lies in "not seeing the possibility of life." Some of his friends are frequent visitors to political programs, and have repeated the same set of discussions over the past 10 years. As time goes by, the content becomes more boring and the attitude becomes more and more biased. "They have to because the focus of life is only politics," he said with emotion.

"I'm afraid I will become that way." Cai Fengping admitted. About 10 years ago, he gradually faded out of political programs and turned to read more books in the cultural and artistic fields. Recently, he has been shopping in the gallery and served as a curator, and has also launched special reviews on classical literature "Red Building Dream" and "Jin Ping Mei". From "political famous vocalist" Cai Fengping to "literary writer" Cai Fengping, he started an innovative work track.

In addition, he developed a running habit from National Middle School and practiced marathons more diligently since middle age. So far, he has participated in nearly 10 national horse racing events. In the second half of 2020, we even registered five all-match games in one go, and ran from Uk to the Island Valley to Green Island. Running is not only beneficial to physical health, but also brings him new opportunities for cooperation. "I believe someone will soon ask me to endorse bone relaxing nutrient supplements!" he said with a smile.

When men are old, they are most afraid of having no interest or friends. Cai Fengping and a group of friends who love drinking formed the "Whiskey Brothers Club". Everyone is on the go and holds a monthly wine-raising party. Starting from 2 or 3 people, there have been more than 20 members in 9 years. Some people know red wine and some people cook sake. Friends drink to gain knowledge and express their feelings in their hearts. At the end of each year, they would ask their wives for leave and fly to Tokyo for a drink inspection. Drink from morning to night, don’t get drunk!

"The focus of life is only one thing, and it is easy to get to the fullest." Cai Fengping said. He is a popular literature student and proposes an interesting metaphor: most tragic stories are established in the context of a closed relationship. Like the love tragedy written by the British literary tycoon Shakespeare, young men and women only have each other in their eyes. One of them left, and the other couldn't survive. But if there are several suitors around the heroine, would she still choose to commit suicide?

Love is like this, and so is life. The more a person knows, the more he sees. The more diverse the focus of life, the more life becomes. When a person is middle-aged, he will be unable to lose and be in harmony. The real openness is not about pursuing life, but about knowing that life has many different paths to go. Even if a man with a large age plant is a potted plant, he must strive to produce new buds and live a life of vitality!

Original text: Self-reminder after middle age! Cai Fengping: Why do women become more and more alive and men are like potted plants?