How can we get out of our sorrow when we leave the world with love? Zhu Quanbin: Slow down your pace and clear the meaning of life and find your true self

Facing the tragic loss of love and passing away from the world, what else do we have to choose? Everyone's heartache is unique, and they all experience another kind of "start" after the crisis; like a little baby, learn to take the first step, learn how to speak, learn how to cry, learn to re-trust, learn to coexist with tragedy, and have the courage to live again. In the series of reports on "After the Death" in April, I hope that in addition to feeling the pain, you can also see the hope.

The day when Zhu Quanbin was visited on March 3rd, the death day of the deceased writer Han Lianglu.

7 years have passed. Zhu Quanbin didn't expect that after his wife passed away, one day he could also pass away from the sorrow and feel the joy of life again. "You can't modify the script, but you can decide how to play this drama." Zhu Quanbin said that he could not change the fact that Korean Lianglu passed away, but found the meaning of this matter.

Zhu Quanbin and Han Lianglu have been studying for 30 years. They have no children and have the same passion for food and literature. They are each other's best confidants, travel companions, and friends, and are also the common life.

In 2015, 57-year-old Han Lianglu died of illness and Zhu Quanbin lost his home.

Losing love. I thought I could never be happy again.

After Korean Lianglu passed away, Zhu Quanbin became uninterested for more than three months. He did not open the TV or read newspapers, and he was no longer interested in what happened in the world. He thought this person would never be happy again.

Because he missed his love wife, for more than a year, Zhu Quanbin wanted to get the situation of Korean Lianglu through various methods. He asked the spiritual media to consult and find someone to tell fortunes.

Slowly, he tried to return his life to the right track: teaching, meetings, and decisive publication plans for Korean Lianglu.

If Zhu Quanbin was actually facing this pain, he would not escape or suppress his heartache. He was willing to express his feelings to his friends, nor did he avoid crying in front of students, and did not reject any method or companionship during the process.

But the mistress was harder than he thought. While reorganizing himself, many police signals appeared in the body; he lost 7 kg in half a year, had a protruding vertebrae, and even had bad symptoms. He had been checking and treating for nearly 4 months.

Fortunately, the helpless feeling that accompanied Korean Liang's love at the end made Zhu Quanbin regain the way to relieve loneliness in time: writing. In the past seven years, his writings made him face his inner feelings and received comfort and company.

Sentences of sadness. When the pain was gone through writing, Zhu Quanbin recorded all the details on the bed. At that time, the words were a peaceful companionship. After she left, Zhu Quanbin continued to write, writing his mood on his face, and told him that when the injury was moved into text and pressed "Publish", those moods were no longer just for himself. He was encouraged from messages and private messages and received the company of many people. On the other hand, these words also comfort many lost people.

Zhu Quanbin published his longing work "When I Love You Longer" one year after leaving Lianglu, and three years later, the book "Thank you for Say Goodbye to Me" was a farewell book. The young Ms. T just lost her husband at that time. She sat in the audience at the launch of her first new book and kept pursuing it. Later, she and Zhu Quanbin Lu communicated several times to cheer each other and encourage each other. When they saw helpful books and movies, they would also introduce them to each other. When the second new book was published, T also came, and he still refused to leave Mr., but there was no sluggish water that could not be stopped.

There are many people like Ms. T who feel the pain of separation because of losing love, gather and get hurt in Zhu Quanbin's words, so that Zhu Quanbin knows that his tragedy is not alone. There are many people in the same situation in the world, and their books have become a journey to accompany each other.

Zhu Quanbin said that in the past, new learning or new trials in life were all due to the encouragement of Korean Lianglu; Korean Lianglu hoped that he would write for her book, so he had an illustration work; hosting broadcast programs was also recommended by Korean Lianglu; when they went out together, they followed the itinerary arranged by Korean Lianglu; even every time they gathered with friends, he was content to be a silent and listener.

Slow down your pace Thank you for leaving the gift

Korean Lianglu's departure, which made Zhu Quanbin open his mind, deliberately slow down his pace, and wanted to clear the meaning of life. Zhu Quanbin knows how to express himself and be himself more and more. He enjoys the gathering of friends and speaks as he wants, writes 3 books, and set up Pumpkin Publishing House to organize Korean Lianglu's astrology lectures.

Zhu Quanbin finally understood that every soul had a course to be practiced. After Han Lianglu finished the course, he left first. He stayed in the world for the past 7 years and studied many courses in his life.

Now Zhu Quanbin thinks of Korean Lianglu, and his gratitude replaces unwillingness and sorrow. He thanks Korean Lianglu for his love and the gifts left by Korean Lianglu, allowing him to complete the unfinished course in his life.

After the age of 60, do what you like

"Why don't you find a companion?" There will be someone asking every once in a while.

Zhu Quanbin said that one person has been good and two have passed. "I have been the best time for two people. Now I have to learn the good time for one person."

Many women can live happily independent after their spouses die, but when men get married, they either remarry and join another relationship immediately, or they will leave soon. "I want to live such a classic and live a truly independent life."

In fact, Zhu Quanbin, who had not yet learned from Korea before he was 30 years old, also lived a life of his own.

"But it is different. "He said that when he was young, he was confused about life, did not understand himself, and cared too much about other people's vision, and often used other people's standards to examine himself; loneliness at that time was lonely.

But after 60 years of age, he is more patient after being tempered by the year of age, and has a sense of self-understanding and understanding. The freedom and beauty of life do not require external searches. Friends are happy to get together, and they are alone and quiet and happy to listen to music. Compared with Zhu Quanbin, who was 30 years old, he can enjoy a person and experience the beauty of being alone and not feel lonely at all.

In 2020, after Zhu Quanbin retired from the Dean of the Taiwan Art University Broadcasting Institute, he attended two online French classes, two teaching abilities classes, one painting class, and one broadcast program every week. He handed in a newspaper column every two weeks, and there was also a friend gathering at least once a week, "It's very busy, but it's not. It is based on responsibility, but doing what I really like. "

"When I was with Korean Lianglu, I was a spiritually unindependent person and I felt very dependent on her." After Korean Lianglu left, Zhu Quanbin had a lot of independent time. In the midst of grief and loss, he worked hard and groped step by step to find his true appearance. Learning will live well in a life without Korean Lianglu.